Every year hundreds of giant breed dogs are put up for adoption or worse, destroyed because someone fell in love with the fluffy little puppy and brought it home, only to be overwhelmed by slobber, food, vet bills, and the sheer size of their full grown dog. If you cannot make a commitment to this (or any) animal to keep it forever, then please don’t get one. Would you give up a son or daughter because they got too big? Certainly not. Anyone who thinks a Newfoundland is any less than a child doesn’t understand the breed. (more…)
Dog Dinner Détente
If Guinness has one fault, it’s that he can be a bit protective of his food. We’ve gone to great lengths to make him understand his place in the pack, so he has no problems with humans. The kids routinely feed him and put things in his bowl while he’s eating. They’ve taken thing from his bowl too, though they both know better. At least I thought they did. Some days I’m amazed my kids can remember to breathe on their own, but this is a story about dogs, so I’ll spare them further reflection on their continued absent-mindedness. (more…)
Guinness the Protector
Brave Guinness doesn’t like thunderstorms. I know that many dogs dislike thunder, but I find something funny about a 140 pound zombie hunter being afraid of loud noises. Usually the big baby finds me and hides under my feet when the thunder starts. I guess I’m the alpha-male, so he knows I’ll protect him. On the night of this tale I was traveling, so Guinness was the resident alpha-male, though I don’t think he understood what responsibilities the title imparted. (more…)
Fannie and the Macbook Pro
We have a rule in our house that states, “Happy tails never get punished.” This rule harkens back to the halcyon days when Cozy was a puppy, circa 1997. Lauren and I were newlyweds, we had a beautiful, clean house, and our precocious little pup had grown enough that her tail could sweep the coffee table clean with one wag. We were young, eager to please parents of our first puppy, so our rules were designed to foster the long-term happiness of our fuzzy little bundle of joy.
Fast-forward thirteen years. Our house now has two pre-teen children. The pretty green carpet in the picture has been ruined (by dogs) and removed. Cozy and Daisy have long since passed over the Rainbow Bridge. Now Annie and Guinness rule the roost, but still the rule remains, “Happy tails never get punished.” (more…)
Peenut Guy Revealed
Who is Peenut Guy? He is you and me. He’s every one of us who’s had a bad day. He is every one of us that’s ever made a mistake or a poor decision. There is one defining characteristic of Peenut Guy that separates him from most of us though:
Peenut Guy never lets life get him down. (more…)
Annie and the Tissues
Somehow, a box of tissues wound up on the floor. In a normal house, this would be a virtual non-event. Someone would walk by, see them, pick them up, and put them away. Luckily for you, we live in a house where people don’t seem bothered by boxes of tissues in odd places. I’d be wiling to bet that I could glue an inverted box of tissues to the living room ceiling and not hear a word about it for months. Unless someone sneezed, in which case I’d be asked where the tissues were. In such a situation I might reply with a single finger pointed up, resulting in wonder and excitement from my children who would have completely missed the point of the exercise.
This time though, the tissues were left on the floor where we all stepped over them for days. One day something changed, at which point I stopped and stared, trying to figure out what had caught my eye. Then it struck me; the tissues were suddenly outside the box. (more…)
Annie and the Mousetrap
Here in the woods of New Jersey, when the leaves start to fall and the temperature drops, we all tend to spend more time indoors. And by “we”, I mean family, dogs, and the filthy vermin commonly known as mice.
Our rodent problem is not a unique one. Go to any hardware store around here in October, and you’ll see the mousetrap section picked over like the dairy aisle in a supermarket before a hurricane.
I tend to be a “live and let live” kind of guy. In the past I’ve used live traps so that I could release the gentle creatures into the wild where they might frolic and play. Those days are gone I’m afraid—now I kill ’em dead. I felt bad while disposing of the first thirty or so. After fifteen years of battle, I now have the blackened soul of a cold-hearted executioner. My wife though, she’s the scary one. (more…)
Cozy Tales – Preface II
I would like to thank all of my readers who responded to my original Cozy Tales Preface. Most of the comments were very helpful, and as a result I decided to abandon most of that preface.
The following text, entitled Introduction, is an edited form of the original opening chapter for Cozy Tales. I think it conveys the spirit of the book better than the preface. I posted. I look forward to reading what you think. As with the last example, I encourage you to either post on the forum where you saw this, email me, PM me, or contact me in any other way you deem acceptable.
Cozy Tales – Introduction
In the life of every dog lover, there is one special dog. For me, Cozy was that dog. Cozy was a 160 pound Newfoundland who, as a puppy, chose me to be her companion in life. My wife, Lauren has always said that Cozy and I shared a special bond. The logical part of me says that Cozy just saw me as her Alpha male. I’d like to believe that there was more to her affection than simple canine hierarchy though.
Cozy Tales – The Preface
I would like to try something different today. As many of you may know, I have written a book about my life with Cozy, my beloved Newfoundland dog who was put to sleep in my arms some four years ago. In an effort to make the book appealing to agents, I am rewriting the beginning, which I have included here. I am also you asking for a favor.
Please pretend that you are standing in your favorite book store (or hovering over your ebook device of choice) and reading this passage. Imagine you’ve picked up the book because of the stunning graphics and handsome author’s picture, and intrigued by what you’ve seen thus far, turned to the beginning to see if it’s worthy of purchase. (more…)
Vacation with Two Newfs – The End
On our last day of vacation, something miraculous happened. OK, perhaps it wasn’t the stuff of miracles, but given the week I’d had, it sure seemed that way.
You may remember from day one of our most restful and enjoyable of vacations, that Guinness has an extreme prejudice against two-wheeled vehicles of all kinds. As we drove along the New Hampshire highways, the first group of biker’s passed us. Like beaten prisoners we all flinched in preparation for the onslaught of barking and general carrying-on that always accompanied the drone of oncoming motorcycles. Only this time, nothing happened. (more…)